I guess its a story about a story, but instead of it being played, it will be written.
The characters in the story are altered but the story itself is true. I do hope you enjoy reading it.
Any sort of comment or opinions on the situation of the story you may have, please feel free to do so.
Enjoy.
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Its been about 2-3 weeks since it all started. I knew him for about 3 months, and I saw him as a good friend. The thing about it though, I honestly wished I had caught myself before anything else happened. Sadly, that's too late, and everything scrammbled together making things worse. I guess in a situation like this you would call it a love triangle, only thing is, I was taken by someone else crushing on a different guy.

I loved Chase deeply, his love meant more to me then anything else, but I really didn't think it was possible for me to like someone else, when my heart was drowning in him.

I was wrong.

I met him at a hotel party, drinking, having fun, just dicking around, getting to know each other. I didn't think it would really happen like this, not at that time anyway. A week later he asked my friend for my number, what was I supposed to say to that? No right? Wrong. I told him he could have it.

He texted me everyday, 2 months passed and I just knew saw him as a good friend giving me good advise. Chase knew about him of course, he knew that we texted each other everyday. Oh, I think I forgot to mention. He is Brandon.

I went on a trip to LA, visiting a relative and celebrating my little brothers birthday at Disneyland, what a fun moment. Until the 2nd night I realized my feelings and I told Brandon. Smart? I thought it was.
Thats how it usually worked for me, I tell them, I get it over with, I don't like them anymore. No, this case was different for me, he liked me back, I didn't expect that, I should have listened to my friends warning.

I get back from LA and I am back home, to Hawaii. 1 more day till the weekend and I am hanging out with Brandon. Saturday night he picks me up and we hang out at the beach, holding each other and staring at the night sky. By then you're now wondering about Chase right? We are currently taking a break.

We stare into the night, we hold beach, we kiss, and we laugh. The stars were amazing, laying under it made my heart jump. I loved it and i'll always remember it.
The best memory I have yet.

The cruelty that god has given me, is the power of guilt and not being able to lie. I absolutely SUCK at lying. I tell Chase everything...

"Even if Chase knows all that you're doing, even if you hurt him bad enough, you do know that no matter how you feel or how he feels, he'll always take you back right?"

I didn't think so, but I needed to know...

"Even if I did all these things to you, would you take me back?"

"Yeah, because i'm a pussy like that. Haha."

That took me by suprise, I started crying. Every little emotion that I held in until that moment came flooding out. Fuck the heart.

"Brandon, if I went from you to Jeremy and back to you again, would you take me back?"

"I guess it would depend on the situation."

"I told him everything."

"You did?..."

"So if you were in that position, would you still take me back?"

"I'd wish that you didn't tell me and went with him instead. But it would depend on the situation regarding with me taking you back or not."

"Hmmm.. I see."

My life went on till then. You would think that I would run back to Chase right? Wrong. I let it keep playing out like that, I kept flirting with them. What the fuck was I doing? I wanted to see how fate played out for me.

One day, me and Brandon got freaky with each other, when he asked if I was sure, I said "No." For the first time in my life I actually said no. I resisted. I couldn't have sex with him because I still had Chase in my mind.

For the first time in my life....

Now it has been a week since all that happened and I came to my decision. I guess this is the sad part on it all.
I would love to go back to Chase, but I can't. Not until all my feelings for him are sorted out and clear with no strings attached to anyone, but until then...

We broke up.

Brandon and I still talk to each other, he is still my good friend and always will be. Fuck all this that happened between us, he is a very special part in my life.

But he knows that we're not getting together.

So if you're wondering what my decision was, it was not being with either of them until I really know what I want.
If it still doesn't clear out till then, we will still be friends.
I guess the sad part on it all was that I loved Chase, always have and forever will. Brandon is very very special to me. But I won't be with either of them.

"Even after we broke up, maybe something will happen in the future."
"I really do hope something does."
"I love you, always and forever."
"I love you too, always and forever, but until then..."

Think I am stupid?

I probably am.